Thursday, July 25, 2019

I know, I know!

I realized a couple of days ago I have not written in my blog since June 5th, which is much longer than I normally do, especially when I go someplace like Billings, I usually post some pictures or something or have something interesting happen in a D&D game, which several fun things have happened in the last two months. I am not sure why I have it go so long, I really rarely let my life pass without some sort of comment. Looking through my FaceBook posts for the last couple of months, I really do not see much there to get excited about

This is not to say I have not written at all, I have written several things, but that stuff is not the things I am inclined to write about and allow others to read. No, its not porn (Jeeze), but rather, inner thinking, observations about some of the things that have went on around me, thoughts on my own actions and the actions of others. Some of it, written in the darkness of 3AM, deals with my demons, but mostly not. I have even pushed out a short story, so its not like I am not writing at all or that I have writers block

Maybe I am just being overly introspect right now or maybe I am saving my energy for the moment when something truly creative will make the leap from my head to the written word. I don't know, but I do know this, my 2nd processor has been fairly quiet since I came back from Montana, I'd like to say maybe I have just found some sort of balance that is working for me for the moment, but I am not sure that is it either, because I am still fretting about things, I am still having those mild anxiety attacks (thank god I am medicated or those would be much worse, I am sure) and I don't think I am anymore happy or unhappy than I was before Montana

I suppose it could be that I am putting so much energy into work, I am certainly working much harder than before, I am not on autopilot for 80% of my day. While my new job is not as intellectually challenging, it is more emotionally challenging because it requires me to interact with far more people and helping them deal with their problems. Now days instead of unfucking computers and software, I unfuck people and processes.

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