Saturday, June 26, 2021

Summer catch up post

 A few things have come to the fore front of my life recently. 

I have had both vaccine shots now, and the U.S. has exceeded 50% vaccinated and will likely hit 70% by September. This makes me feel much more comfortable about being out and about, even though I still wear a mask most everywhere I go, The reason for this is, just because I have had the vaccine, does not mean I cannot catch COVID-19, it just means my body will fight it off much quicker and I could still be a carrier for a couple of days while my immune system is at work. I would feel really bad if I were to give it to someone who cannot get the vaccine.

I have pretty much been self quarantined for more than a year, my only major in person social interaction since last June has been with my wife. Since my wife and I live in different houses, I have spent the vast majority of the last year by myself. When I went on vacation back to Billings, I thought it would be really great to finally get some real and meaningful person to person contact. It was not great, I found I was very uncomfortable with a house full of people, even if everyone was vaccinated and everyone were people I knew. I had a whole big load of social anxiety. I did not like cramming myself into real cloths everyday instead of throwing on sweat pants and a ratty T-shirt. I did not like wearing shoes, I desperately wanted to go barefoot. I love my family, I did enjoy seeing everyone, but in the end, I just wanted to go home and be by myself again.

I am not sure I want things to go back to the way they were before the pandemic, I kind of like not having to entertain people all the time, I like not having to make excuses for not joining co-workers for lunch, or after work drinks. I like not having to go to movies i don't want to see because my friends want to go see it. I like not having to do small talk to fill uncomfortable silences, I like being able to ignore what people are saying (texting) to me for days and then responding with "Sorry, didn't see this", knowing full well they have lost interest in whatever it was and you know what, I also realized, I don't really care if people do not respond to my texted either.

I read PostSecret every single Sunday, and almost every Sunday I see something profound, this week, it was this one.