Tag Archives: Bad Ideas

Why Raylan Alleman is Wrong

Okay, this one sure brought the afternoon up to a boil with PezWitch. Go read this, then come back.


So your back now and if you are anything other than a recently thawed Neanderthal this probably bothered you at least a little bit. I don’t really care that he thinks sending his son to college is an excellent idea, but is wasted money on his daughters. It is his money, he earned it, he can spend it anyway he wants. What irks me here is he is pretending that he is not “Against educating women” and he is not for “Oppressing women” when in fact this is exactly what he is preaching here. So lets go down his list, shall we.

1. She will attract the wrong types of men: Yes, yes she will attract the wrong type of men. It is a well known phenomenon that fathers hate most of the men their daughters date. Yes, she will likely date some bad boys, this is also a well known phenomenon that young girls like the bad boys. The bad news is there is nothing you can do about this except lock her up in the basement chained to the wall. The good news is she will learn from her mistakes and eventually meet someone who is right for her and makes her happy.

2. She will be in a near occasion of sin: This is another one you have no real control over, unless you are willing to cross the line from concerned parent to chains on the basement wall type of crazy. Look, by the time they reach 14 or 15 all you can hope for is that you have taught them enough common sense not to have sex and if they do to make sure it is safe sex. If you did not do that college age is waaayyy to late to be worried about it. If your daughter is inclined to have sex, it is a good bet she has already gotten the T-Shirt by the time she gets to college age. If you have taught her well and she has all the intellectual and emotional tools she needs to navigate the rough waters of youthful romances, then you really have nothing to worry about.

3. She will not learn to be a wife and mother: Uhm so what? Its not the job of the college to teach a woman to be a wife and mother. If you are as good a parent as you believe yourself to be, then chances are good she has had the best training she can possibly have to be a wife and mother, she has had good role models. If on the other hand you were a cold, distant father and your wife is overbearing and judgemental, then you are right, she is going to have a hard time with this one.

4. The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup: This applies to sons as well as daughters, if money is really the issue here then you should be discouraging your sons from going to college as well.

5. You don’t have to prove anything to the world: This is true, you don’t have anything to prove to the world. But you should know that the world thinks you are kind of creepy.

6. It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents: Re-read #4, this applies to sons as well as daughters. If you are unable to go into debt for your daughters education, then you should should not go into debt for your son either.

Bored of the Rings

I just bought Bored of the Rings on my Kindle. My life is now complete. The humor in this book is a bit dated, but it is still funny as hell. This influenced my early D&D playing, heck, it influences my gaming today. Bored of the Rings is, to me the ultimate novelization of a RatShit D&D game. Bruce and I still quote it to each other.

Amazon – Bored of the Rings (Kindle Edition)


Uh, NO!

Over at io9, they ask the question, why was Hal Jordan picked to be Green Lantern rather than Superman or even Batman. The theory goes, that Superman or Batman with a power ring would be just AWESOME!


They do go on to explain it in a not very convincing way. My take on it is pretty simple, while both Superman and Batman have formidable wills, neither are in Hal Jordan’s category in this area. I point to the old DC Superhero RPG by West End Games as a good indicator. In this game the scale for attributes is roughly 0 to 25, where 0 is an average man and each level you go up on an attribute is roughly double the previous, basically going up in a logarithmic fashion. In this game Superman’s Strength is 25, his will is 20. Hal Jordan’s Will is 25, while Batman is a mere 12. Again keep in mind 0 is an average man, by that standard, Batman has an impressive Will, however, even Gnort, the most incompetent Green Lantern in the universe, has a Will of 15. Superman comes much closer, but on that scale, Hal Jordan has as much Will as Superman has Strength. Face it, when it comes to ring slinging, Hal Jordan was the most qualified candidate in the space sector.

All of this has pretty much played out at one time or another in the comics, both Batman and Superman have ended wearing Hal’s ring, but neither have ever been able to use it as effectively as he has. At one point Hal Jordan takes on the rest of the GL Corps……..AND WINS! This was not a sneaky sneaky bullshit plan, this was a head on full frontal assault. Meanwhile, Superman has been pretty consistently been fought to a stand still by small groups of GL’s. So yeah, no, Hal Jordan was the first best choice for the ring.


Proof Microsoft is truly EVIL

Microsoft has applied for a patent on the idea of awarding achievements for watching TV. If true, this is positively the most insidious idea in the history TV watching. Anyone who has played video games in the couple of years knows what an achievement is, basically, it is an in-game reward for doing pointless tasks like killing 10 Orcs or collecting 40 boggie scalps. My guess is this will become a reward system for sitting on your ass watching TV. I wonder what I will get for watching 25 Crest commercials? Or watching a Doogie Howser marathon start to finish? My worry is how will they know you actually did it? If it were not for the creep factor here, I’d probably think this was a better idea.


Election cycle fun

Carnifex.org proudly announces its endorsement for the Republican Presidential Candidate. Now I realize some of you will think me choosing a Republican Presidential Candidate is a bit like a gay man judging womens breasts, but I assure you I have considered this subject long and hard. Before I make my announcement however, I would like to cover the four candidates.

Ron Paul: Has the least chance of winning and I think the only reason he actually runs is it allows him to raise enormous amounts of money without having to leave Washington DC except to attend a couple debates. He has many passionate followers, however very few mainstream Republicans take him seriously.

Newt Gingrich: True conservatives do like this man. He is reasonably smart and well spoken, he is one of the originators of the the failed “Contract with America”. His major problem is he is a douche bag and pretty much everyone knows it. Seriously, if they ran him the Republican party would implode as President Obama became the “Family Values” candidate. The Democratic Super PACs would eat him for lunch.

Rick Santorum: This guy is the underdog. He is actually doing well, but really has little chance of getting the nomination, but he could squeak out a win. He plays  well with the evangelicals and other social conservatives and fiscal conservatives don’t hate him, but independents don’t care for him at all.

Mitt Romney: Mitt is what currently passes for a front runner. It is a good chance he will pick up the nomination this spring sometime and if there is a brokered convention, he will most assuredly become the nominee. Fiscal conservatives love him, he is “One Percenter” all the way, he is one of them and they can safely assume he will continue the Bush War Doctrine on the poor and middle class. Independents sort of like him because even if he makes a policy statement you don’t like, give him 24 hours and he will change it. Social conservatives however do not care for him, he has in the past supported way too many SocialistAthiestLiberalPinkoCommieACORNGay issues to be trusted.


My endorsement goes to … You guessed it Rick Santorum. Yes of all the candidates who are running to loose against President Obama, I believe former Senator Santorum has the best chance of winning in the primary while spectacularly crashing and burning in the general election. His complete rejection of reality based science will endear him to the IQ under 90 crowd and make for some interesting debate moments and his religious beliefs will insure he looses virtually all the independent womens vote. I almost went for Ron Paul, because the President could have phoned in the campaign and still won by 8-10%, however I don’t think it would have made for an interesting run, the President should have to work a little bit to win and in doing so will ensure a double digit landslide win for the President with Santorum getting no electoral votes outside the south, loosing even his home state.

My prediction for this election cycle are:

  • Romney wins the Republican nomination in late spring, there will be no brokered convention.
  • The campaign season will be boring with no real question about who is going to win.
  • President Obama will win a second term, probably with a double digit lead.
  • The Republicans will keep the House of Representatives, but loose seats.
  • The Democratic Party will retain the Senate and will gain seats, but will not achieve a super majority.

Please note, these predictions are my gut telling me how this is going down, I have looked at no polling data or listen to talk radio or watched breathless pundits talk about how close the race will be. This is simply my best guess based on my one perception of reality.


RE: Will desktops be irrelevant in three years?

Last year I wrote about this subject because some random Google exec thought cloud computing was where is was all at. I wrote that piece 20 months ago, more than half way to his predicted “Death of the PC” and I see companies like Dell, Acer and Gateway still making billions of dollars selling PC’s.

Now we have Jonathan Zittrain telling us the death of the PC is on the horizon. The center of his argument is that cell phones and tablets are outselling PC’s. This was pretty much Google executive John Herlihy’s argument as well. However Zittrain goes on to complain about the closed garden of Apples iPhone AppStore. I am going to say this again, PC’s will not die until PezWitch can plug her smart phone into a 42 inch TV and play World of Warcraft at 1920×1200 resolution.

Seriously, WoW is a 30 GB install, how many smart phones have that much free space for a single application? I doubt there exists even a dual core ARM processor capable of running WoW in 640×480 let alone anything approaching 1920×1200.  You can’t even get an iPhone App that lets you log into the WoW auction house to buy and sell things using a simple interface.

Now here is what I hope will happen. I believe approximately 80% of the people who use computers are too stupid to actually use them. This is born out by the fact that virus’s and malware are so prevalent and I still get email from people where the subject line starts with FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:. I would like to see these people replace their computers with an iPhones, a Kindle Fire and an xBox, or some other combination of smart phone, tablet and game console. People who are too stupid to use computers should all be corralled into the closed gardens where they can not do harm to others and will be a lot less likely to have to call tech support because every time they open Internet Explorer, they get a dozen porn popup windows.

Even if the virus writers start creating for smart phones and Kindles, it will not really matter, because I can do a full scale reset in 5 minutes and have all the apps reinstalled in another 10. I can teach even the stupidest non technical person how to do this in a minimal amount of time. This will leave real PC’s to the rest of us and they can stand in awe of our ability to type “dir” at the command line and glean information from this cryptic environment.

Sadly, this is not going to happen. Ten years from now, the same companies who are selling PC’s today will probably still be selling PC and making billions of dollars a year doing it. Some one will also reinvent the Dumb Terminal/Thin Client/Cloud Computing paradigm yet again and technology pundits will again be singing “The witch is dead” around the PC.

Everything old is new again.

Dark Dungeons

Everyone who played RPG’s in the 80′s remembers the Chick Tract Dark Dungeons. For those of you in the know, some guy has made an animated version of the tract.


Is it just me or was that dreadfully boring? I went back and read the original tract and yes this film is word for word from the tract. Jack Chick was a horrible writer and the guy who did this film made it worse with poor acting and bad animation. This falls under the category of lost opportunities.

Group Photo Bomb

This is a picture of some of the people I work with, posted without comment.

The near future of the tech industry

I am not into making predictions of the future. Okay, that is not true, I do it all the time, so what the fuck. A few weeks ago HP announced it was selling its PC hardware and mobile device businesses. Michael Dell promptly started antagonising them on Twitter, nearly everyone thought this was a bad idea and their stock plummeted. The HP board of directors fired the CEO in an attempt to sooth queasy investors. What HP didn’t do is abandon the plan to sell off their hardware divisions and become a service company. Upon appointment the new CEO promptly said she planned to follow the plan to restructure the company, the previous CEO was right, he was simply a victim of poor marketing.

This whole ordeal reminds of of another similar decision made by another tech company several years earlier. IBM sold off its PC hardware business to a Chinese company who now uses IBM’s patents to build the Lenovo line. Today it was announced that IBM has now over taken Microsoft as the #2 most valuable tech company in the world. While I can’t foretell the future, I will give even odds that in 5 years HP will be laughing all the way to the bank and Michael Dell will be left wondering what the hell happened.

Hookey Bobbing

Over on Facebook there is a new group called “You know you are from Billings when..”, for the most part this group has been less than amusing. However, the other day the discussion of Hookey Bobbing came up. Hookey Bobbing is when, during the winter and all the roads were covered with snow and ice, we would grab the bumper of a car while it was stopped at a light and then let the car pull us along, often at speeds of 35 miles an hour or greater. As tremendously stupid as this sounds it was the primary mode of transportation to school during the winter for teenagers not yet old enough to own a car. The pit falls of Hookey Bobbing are obvious, hit a bare spot of pavement and if you were lucky, you lost soles of your boots, if you were not lucky, you ended up with a dislocated shoulder. Sudden stops by the car usually meant a black eye or broken nose and speed dips or speed bumps usually sent you flying into the nearest wall, telephone pole or mail box. Sometimes I am truly amazed that I survived my childhood.