I don’t really like 800 page books, I especially don’t like 7 book series of 800 page books. Unfortunately, this trend is now affecting Comic Books as well. For some reason the current crop of Comic Book writers have taken to writing stories that develop at glacial speeds. Please, if you can not write a Comic Book story in 3 issues, 4 at the outside, give it up, you are in the wrong business. For example, DC’s current crossover event Forever Evil is by itself a 6 issue mini series, now add in the three other 6 issue mini series that tie into Forever Evil and both Justice League and Justice League of America are tying in as well. That is 36 issues over 6 month period for this story line, we are barely 4 months in and I want it to be over with already, no more navel gazing Lex Luthor.
Forever Evil is not the only story line dragging. Both Earth 2 and Worlds Finest are killing me as well. Earth 2 is currently in a story line about the re-invasion of earth by Darkseid, okay, fine and dandy, this could have been done in 4 issues, The Legion of Superheroes did the Darkness Saga in 6 issues, we are currently on issue 12. Worlds Finest is almost as bad, They are currently telling a story about Power Girls abilities going all wonky on her, 2 issues right? We are on issue 6 of this story line and we are about to cross over to Batman/Superman. Please make it stop.
Several months ago I bought the first season DVD set of Game of Thrones. After the first episode, I knew I was going to hate it and I did. I forced myself to watch the whole season, first because I tend to give TV shows 3 episodes before I judge them harshly and second, I spend cash on this shit and by god I am going to watch it to the bloody end. I almost stopped watching after Ned Stark was executed, but I bulldozed through. So here are my thoughts on this show;
1. Apparently George R.R. Martin can not write a normal sex scene to save his life. The closest thing we have is prostitute on dwarf sex, it goes down hill from there, to include rape and incest.
2. Apparently George R.R. Martin is compelled to kill off all his good characters leaving only the complete pricks.
3. Apparently George R.R. Martin can not let anything good happen to any of his characters, again, he seems compelled to torture them with miserable lives and everything they do to make things better, only makes it exponentially worse.
Seriously, by the end of the first season there were zero characters I cared about, all the sex scenes were of the EEWW variety and I felt like cutting my wrists because everything happening in the show made me feel bad. So I am sorry, but all you people who are claiming the is the best TV EVAR!, there is something wrong with you, please, go see a doctor, because this shit is really bad.
I just bought Bored of the Rings on my Kindle. My life is now complete. The humor in this book is a bit dated, but it is still funny as hell. This influenced my early D&D playing, heck, it influences my gaming today. Bored of the Rings is, to me the ultimate novelization of a RatShit D&D game. Bruce and I still quote it to each other.
Amazon – Bored of the Rings (Kindle Edition)
If you are looking for a fun lite read this summer I highly recommend The Crown Conspiracy by Michael J. Sullivan. This book breaks the trend in modern writing of building a dark setting and torturing characters until they become nearly as bad as the villains they oppose. Instead follows two happy go lucky thieves, Royce Melborne and Hadrian Blackwater, as they frolic though the adventure. The story is a fast and easy read read full of adventure, heroic deeds, interesting plot twists and good characterization. The story reminds me of the Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser series by Fritz Leiber. My only real criticism of the story is Royce and Hadrian do trend a bit towards Mary Sue characters, they tend to be just a bit too lucky and while everyone else in the book makes mistakes, these two only make one and that mistake gets them involved in the plot. This however does not distract from the over all story and the characters are fun. The best compliment I can pay to this book is, I wish my D&D games were like this
I have never cared for the SteamPunk sub-genre. I have never read a SteamPunk book or comic that was anything more than mildly amusing and even SteamPunk movies don’t really do much for me. For a long time I couldn’t really figure out why, I am a Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror reader. I enjoy most other sub-genres within those categories, so it felt odd that I didn’t really enjoy SteamPunk, especially since I enjoy SteamPunk’s elder cousin CyberPunk a lot.
Recently it dawned on my why, so far everything I have read has the emphasis on the “Steam” and not the “Punk”. What I mean is they tend to be gee wiz stories talking mostly about clockwork this and steam powered that, descriptions about an idealized Victorian setting. The problem is the Victorian age was not much fun and an idealized form of it is outright boring. The genre, paints a shallow facade of the 19th century where wars are fought by gentleman and no one of any consequence ever dies (except the peasants) and technology is a great fashion accessory but has not solved any real problems.
To any prospering SteamPunk authors out there I would like to explain to you what “Punk” actually means in the cultural sense. Punk is at its core about rebellion, it is about youth rebelling against the oppressive moral values of the older generation, it is rebellion of the poor and disenfranchised against the wealthy elite of society. Punk stories should be about cynical protagonists fighting and carving out a better life for himself against a society that wants him to grow up, accept his place and go back to the ghetto. Punk is about being beaten down and pushed into the sewer, it is dirty, it is gritty, but it is also about getting back up, crawling out of the sewer, screaming “I am not going to take this any more !” and fighting back. If you don’t understand what I am talking about go sit down and listen to everything done by the Romones, the Clash and the Sex Pistols between 1975 and 1980. If after that you still don’t get it, then might I suggest you move on to writing Romantic Fantasy.
This week has been a bit light on blogging, however next week I am on vacation and I expect to blog on the heavy side, so things should balance out. In the mean time, io9 has an article covering fantasy stories worse than Twilight. It seems impossible, but the list includes several which are at the very least, just as bad as Twilight.
I don’t generally go in for this type of movie, but the trailer had me rolling on the floor. Seriously, who when asked, “How do you plan to do that ?”, hasn’t wanted to reply with, “MAGIC……MOTHERFUCKER !”. I may not go to the theatre for it, but it is definitely going into my Netflix queue. If you are at work, make sure you have headphones on, the language is NSFW.
Tonight we are going to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie. I am not sure exactly why, but apparently if we don’t go tonight, we will not get another opportunity for several weeks. Needless to say, after dinner I am taking a nap, otherwise I will not make it through this two and a half hour monstrosity. Over the last several weeks we have been re-watching the previous movies in preparation for this. Tomorrow I will write a review.